You weren’t born stressed or anxious, so why do you believe you have to live with it?
In fact, stress and anxiety is not actually your issue. It’s a symptom of what lies beneath.
We treat illnesses the same way. We try to get rid of the bloating or the acne or the ulcers, but we don’t stop to think why this is happening. We see the disease as the issue, not the response to the real issue.
Ultimately, the way we feel comes down to the way we feel about ourselves and the meaning we’ve associated to the events of our lives. It’s what we continue to do with the traffic jam, the deadline, the news, and the behaviors of others.
We’ve been doing this since we could consciously process information. We associated meaning to the behaviors of our caregivers or parents, and most people have never revisited the meaning or the effects of that association. At this point, we’re just building over and around existing mental highways.
How do I know it’s not actually the event or situation that triggers the feeling – anxiety, anger, stress?
Because you can give people the same situation and the response will be based on what they associate with it. I’m not saying what’s true or right or wrong. You see this with everything from cancer to the app not working. Some people choose humor, some people choose annoyed.
At this point someone is saying, I don’t choose to be annoyed, I just am annoyed or angry or stressed because it happened or someone did something. It’s true that’s probably the case for your response now, but you made the first brain connection while in a traffic jam to anger. Or you made a connection that love is painful or that you’re not good enough because if you were your parents wouldn’t have divorced. Then you reinforced it, so at this point, yes, it’s automatic. But you did it.
It was so automatic sometimes and other times you might have learned it from someone else or the media, but you chose to adopt it. Maybe you didn’t choose to adopt it consciously, but you’re living so unconsciously that you just take what you see.
What am I saying is that beliefs are created; then, beliefs create your reality.
Luckily, brain patterns can be interrupted and new ones can be built.
Here’s a few quick tips to get started:
- Be conscious and self-aware. What are your triggers? Ask yourself the 5 W’s when you’re feeling anxious, stressed, or annoyed. Who, what, where, when, why? Know yourself deeply.
- Keep your anger, stress, or pity-party contained to a certain amount of time. During this time I want you to feel deeply and be curious. Go within and really explore. Don’t suppress or “brush it off”. It’s going to come back if you don’t acknowledge it.
- Stop beating yourself up. It’s natural to stack negativity. It’s called momentum. Once you get going down a certain path, it’s really a hill. You begin to judge yourself for feeling angry or you begin to remember all the things wrong with you, and how this has happened before. Try, if you can, to feel without self-judgement.
- Remember, it’s not permanent, personal, or all pervasive. Most situations are temporary, not personal, or not pervasive. So even a difficult boss or spouse is not all pervasive. If someone is nasty with you, it’s rarely personal. It’s their own issues that’s surfacing. Lastly, if it won’t matter when you’re 95 years old, it’s not temporary, and probably not that important.
- Reach out for support. This can be a friend or a professional. I’m launching a 30-day program for freedom from Anxiety and Stress . It’s a deep transformational program with limited spots in order to provide one-on-one support. If you’re really curious about truly being free from anxiety, stress, and even self-doubt, watch my video.
In order to have a different outcome, you must believe a different reality is possible. If you want to change your beliefs, you must know them and then have the courage to challenge them.
Change is ongoing, it’s possible, and you can either operate from fear and have absolutely no direction in your life, or you can take a leap of faith and direct your intentions towards a potentially awesome future. You are always choosing.