What if pleasure is an energy that’s alive?
What if we can seduce her, call her in, ask her for guidance?
What if she has grievances with us?
What if she has needs, too?

Almost 6 years ago I decided to pursue pleasure.

Because I had already pursued money, status, relationships, travel, and still there was something missing. So I stopped searching for things, places, and people, and started tuning into a feeling.

Surprisingly, I found her quite quickly… as if she was waiting for me, did she summon me?

I spent several months in this gorgeous existence where I noticed beauty all around me, I stopped and smelled the flowers, I picked up new hobbies, I felt aliveness in a subtle and glorious way. I literally reversed the aging process, dropped weight without trying, and was deeply happy for maybe the first time in adulthood. None of my circumstances had changed…

And then I lost it.

Fuck.

My mind went on overdrive trying to figure out what happened, why, and how to fix it.

At the time, I wasn’t even sure what I did, so I was trying too hard to replicate it.
I escaped, traveled, changed relationships, tried all sorts of healing practices, medicines, and after a particularly challenging divorce situation, ended up in one of the darkest periods of my life.

Threaded through my process and exploration, I synchronistically found spaces and people that were also devoted to pleasure.

And slowly and gently, I found her again, time and time again,
Not when I tried, but when I relaxed.
Not when I did something, but when I was still.
Not when I pushed, but when I allowed.

I realized it wasn’t the things I was doing, but who I was being, how relaxed I was, and how true I was to myself that made all the difference.

I will say this: she’s sensitive.
She does have needs.
She has preferences, and
She has HIGH standards!

So, she’ll leave quickly and come slowly.
She never stays forever, but she’s always nearby.

Yes, I’m speaking of pleasure, which is also life force. The energy that creates. Eros.

And I do think she summoned me, she called me, and I’m here responding, being guided.

My work isn’t so much to teach anything because I’ve found most of the process is an unlearning process, a journey back to trusting intuition and instinct, and so, I like to create a lot of spaciousness for what is natural to arise.

But I also push edges, I make suggestions, I trigger intentionally, and I pour love into the mix. Although pleasure can’t be taught per se, I can show you pleasure, I can hold you, I can guide you… to her. She’s available to everyone, and what I can do is help you remove all the things that are in the way for her to want to come.

I can also tell you all my mistakes, and I can laugh with you, play, and help summon more of her in all parts of your life…

The journey is unpredictable, and learning to dance with the mystery is one of my biggest joys these days.

So, shall we dance together in the dark? 🖤

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